105: 10 Things No One Tells You About Becoming an Adult

1. 100 dollars does not go as far in Target as you think it should. 

Target is a dream land for females, teens and women alike. As a youngster, I thought “If only I could be an adult and have money, I would fill my cart with as many kitty journals and flower embroidered jeans as it could hold.” Let’s just say I still have that dream…just minus the kitty journals.

2. You don’t always get money back when you do your taxes.

I didn’t hear much about tax prep as a kid, but I did observe that people got really stressed out close to April–and then they went to Walmart to buy TV’s. So it couldn’t have been that bad of a deal. Until you grow up and realize that a tax refund isn’t just free money that the government gives everyone once a year.

3. Navigating guy/girl relationships doesn’t get easier after high school. 

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard girls talk about how they couldn’t wait to get to college because the guys were “more mature.” Guys don’t just magically become better at interacting with girls once they’ve graduated–but neither do girls, become better with guys. When it comes to matters of the heart, we’re all just a bunch of 8th graders wishing that dating were as simple as sending someone a note saying “do you like me? Check yes or no.” (Which is why surrounding yourself with wise counsel is so important…but more on that another time.)

4. You can’t just eat whatever you want.

Ice cream for dinner? Seemed like a dream as a kid–now, it’s still a dream if you want to continue fitting into your skinny jeans.

5. Puppies are expensive.

After spending years begging my parents for a dog, I still did not understand why they kept saying no. Puppies are awesome! I saw no cons. But…dogs don’t have health insurance, yo. And they tend to swallow random things that threaten their lives on a daily basis.

6. The 5-year-old you’s life goal of working in the McDonald’s drive-through so you could wear the cool headset and work the magic window, isn’t exactly a good life choice. 

If minimum wage didn’t suck so bad, I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing this dream realized…but only for a little while. (Someone has to fund my Target addiction.)

7. Did you know those big jars of peanut butter can set you back 5 bucks?

Yeah, I remember the first time I discovered that one. Had to be like, week 2 of college–blew my mind.  “$4.50?!” Was all I kept saying.

8. Students loans are a lie from the pit of hell.

Oh yeah, just “borrow some money” for your tuition…you can “pay it back” when you have a “job” after you’re finished “college.” (Ok, I don’t know why I put quotes around college…that one was real.)

9.Your parents still tell you what to do.

Every kid dreams of the day when they’re old enough to not have to listen to mom and dad anymore. When you feel you’ve reached that age, it usually means you’re about to do something stupid.  The parent/adult-child relationship can get tricky, especially when all you want to do is to be able to make your own decisions. But then there are the moments when all you want is for someone to tell you what it is you should be doing, so you can do it. It’s in those moments that you wish you were a kid again.

10.  You will one day dream of going to bed at 8 p.m. 

I used to think that there was  no worse way to strip me of all freedom than to make me go to bed before Cousin Skeeter came on. If I missed SNICK or T.G.I.F., I would have nothing, NOTHING to talk about with my friends on Monday. I might as well stay home until the next weekend, because going to school would be completely irrelevant.

Now there are days where I feel there is no worse way to strip me of my freedom, than to have to get out of bed at 6am to go to work in the morning, only to turn around and have to stay at the second job until 10pm. And if I even have the brain space to keep up with television, I have to binge on Hulu on the rare days that I have nothing going on.

Sigh…

So, my fellow 20-somethings who are being smacked in the face with the reality that is adulthood? What would you add to this list?

Snick

 

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7 thoughts on “105: 10 Things No One Tells You About Becoming an Adult

  1. When I was young I wanted to be old so bad, so we played games like MASH and imagined who we would marry and how many kids we would have thinking it was just an automic process that happened once you have your own car which appears magically along with your job and great salary. Only to find out that all those things are either carefully planned or stunning and unexpected. Left to realize growing up is not within a certain age group but is an every week everyday affair that takes sacrifice above all, which explains all those times I couldnt get candy that new toy or miss dinner at 6:00.

  2. Good lawd are these truth. I haven’t experienced the one about puppies & PB though. (Then again, I have been buying a LOT of coffee lately…my wallet frowned a little when they finally got me on a first-name basis at Starbucks.)

    I’m pretty sure student loans are one of Satan’s best inventions. In fact, I think Sallie Mae is the name of his daughter…and even his child support bills on her are still everlasting.

    Finally: COUSIN SKEETER!!!! Man, I thought my family were the only ones watching that. Why is no one talking about this show anymore?!? You just made my day. 🙂

    1. It’s best to leave Cousin Skeeter in your memory. I Youtubed it recently…it’s not as funny as it was back then. LOL

      1. Aw come on, I bet I’d still laugh at them making up the “Doubt it” song for Montell Jordan, or faking it in André Couch’s choir. Lol.

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