I started reading “My Utmost for His Highest” this week. It’s one of those books where you hear people quote it so much that eventually you figure you might as well just read the thing, cause you feel like you have anyway.
So I happened to reach that point out loud in my kitchen one day in front of my dad.
“Oh…we have that book, you know.” He says.
Wonderful! I think–saves me 10 bucks at Barnes and Noble.
So after we dig it up, I open it, ready to be filled with the knowledge of the Holy Spirit and Oswald Chambers himself, when a folded piece of yellow paper falls out.
I knew it had to have been there for a long time. No one had cracked this book in at least a decade.
I recognized the author’s handwriting immediately, because I’ve been trying to emulate it since I could hold a crayon.
So after I did a quick scan to make sure I wasn’t happening on something that I’d regret laying eyes on, I allowed myself to read the notes that my mother had unintentionally left in the book for me to find.
Maybe she was my age. Maybe a little older. Maybe she wrote it quickly on the sticky note pad while my sister and I were napping. Maybe she wrote it in the middle school carpool line before she became counselor to my daily 8th grade dramas.
Heck, maybe she wrote it last year.
It still felt like one of those moments that you can’t plan. I was unexplainably intrigued by finding a piece of my mother from a time where I may not have known her very well. When she was just the woman who fed me and gave me band-aids. Not a Christ follower who read Oswald Chambers books.
So, (please don’t be mad) I read it. And I’m glad I did, because I needed to hear it at that very moment. The Band-Aid lady couldn’t have known that when she wrote it. Only God could. And I’m thankful for my little present from the past.
I kind of feel like Marty McFly. (Or maybe, Martina?)
Anyway…here’s what she wrote:
Relying on God’s strength is like riding in the back seat of your parent’s car when you were too little to see out the window. The most important thing to you was seeing the back of the head of the driver of the vehicle, knowing that they were full of love for you and they knew how to get to the destination.
I don’t think our heavenly father minds the “are we there yet?” question as much as our human parents do. 🙂 It lets God know that our mind is still on the prize, and that our focus is on our destination.
He wants us to trust Him to do the driving. What we can do is eat our Cheerios for sustenance (read God’s word), occupy ourselves with activities worthy of God’s kingdom, and relax and enjoy His presence. But every know and then say, “Are we there yet?”
For me, that was comforting, because I get so focused on the end goal, sometimes that I forget to eat my Cheerios and bask in the presence of my Father who has nothing but good plans for me. He has placed a vision inside of me, so I think he does understand and appreciate my passion, but He also wants me to trust Him.
More than likely this book will never make it back to my dad’s shelf and it will unintentionally become a part of my personal collection. And when it does, maybe 20 years from now my daughter will pick up Oswald Chambers and find a the little piece of wisdom from her grandmother. (if she wants any wisdom from me she’ll have to search the archives of this blog :))