I don’t know how it started, but somewhere along the line, I was sold that “30” was a death sentence.
Maybe it was seeing Rachel have a meltdown on Friends when she hit 30, or the fact that when I was younger and would imagine what I would be like as Adult Jillana, I never thought past my 20’s.
Either my little brain couldn’t conceive that far into the future, or I was fully bought in to the fact that 30 was supposed to be when you were done dreaming, done learning, done growing – you were done. You’re officially “grown up” and now you just chill at your job until retirement, I guess.
I wish I could say that the closer I got to the big 3-0, the more I relaxed my policy on it being the peak right before the rapid downhill descent, that was going to be my life apparently, but I hadn’t.
Even Jenna Rink couldn’t convince me that 30 was going to be thriving and flirty. The way I saw it, 30 was all about paying bills and diaper changes, so I needed to make sure I eat all my Razzles and have all my fun, before then.
I actually remember having a full on argument with someone about how much of a stretch that movie was. What kid dreams of being 30? Did they just make that up because “13 going on 25,” didn’t roll off the tongue the same way? Amiright?
But my perspective, and my disdain for an entire decade did eventually start to shift. This year, actually. Maybe it was something about realizing that I only had 2.5 more years before I was supposed to be “done,” even though I felt like I was just getting started, that helped me to see I was racing against a clock that didn’t even exist.
See as a society we have all of these timelines, or mile-markers of where we’re “supposed” to be, that it’s impossible for anyone to keep up with them all. I could be way ahead of the curve in one area, and so far behind the curve in another, that I can’t even see it.
So why do we have them if they just make us feel bad? It’s like in school when your teacher graded on a curve. It really just made whoever set the curve feel bad if they actually did well, and everyone else mad at her for messing it up for the rest of them, even though she was just trying to get her 89% and live her life. (Not like that happened to me or anything…)
But what if I were to tell you that the curve doesn’t exist?
Not in like a weird, philosophical way that makes your brain hurt, but in a “Jesus didn’t begin his earthly ministry until he was 30,” kind of way.
Jesus, who knew from the beginning what He was sent here to do, who didn’t need a “gap year” to find himself, whose knowledge of the future puts all of our 5 year plans to shame – Jesus.
Jesus didn’t even subscribe to the “it’s time to settle down” mentality that we push today. So please, tell me again where you think I should be at 27.
At 30, Jesus was being what some might say was “reckless,” telling folks to sell all of their belongings and follow him, not, “you’re 28, you should have X amount of dollars in your 401k, by now.” So why do we think we have to follow one plan? One formula?
I’m throwing the timeline away because I serve a God who is outside of time. When has our timeline EVER been better than God’s, anyway? Cause I don’t know about you, but I’m like 0 for 1 million in that department.
I’m not worried about how all the kids who I graduated high school with are married. Some have kids, but we’re millennials, so we’re definitely re-setting the curve in that department.
I’m not worried about how I’m not where I thought I’d be at this age. Because really, what did 8-year-old, Jillana know about anything let alone how I am supposed to live my best life as an adult. That plan that I locked away in my Password Journal, was as much of a joke as the Password Journal, itself.
So I’m making a new plan. A plan to have more adventures. A plan to see the world.
Like any great idea I have, this plan starts with a list. A list of things to check off before I hit the “dirty thirty,” as y’all say. Not as a bucket list, or because I think going to Disney World without any kids would be inappropriate in my 30’s, but more of a charge to say goodbye to one decade, and usher in a new one ready for new possibilities.
I may post the entire list, or I may just update as I check off each thing. I may even get into vlogging for it. (watch out!)
God didn’t leave me here, or wake me up this morning so that I could just survive. He didn’t leave me here to achieve for the sake of achieving, or to amass wealth that I can’t take with me to Heaven.
One of the reasons He left me here was to live an abundant life in Him, every day. Not rushing through life waiting on milestones.
So let’s do this! #30b430